I peeled the duvet back and ran the gauntlet of getting up and dressed whilst keeping Oscar as quiet as I could. I give Stu a gentle kiss and he stirred just enough to ask where I was off before he rolled back over and continued snoring. I left the house as the first real bite of Autumn enveloped the air. My foot is getting better so the walk wasn't painful and Oscar and I slowly dawdled passed the trees and houses until we got to the park. Most dog walkers know that wonderful time first thing in the morning before a park is filled with the noise of kids and people bustling towards work. I saw plenty of other dog walkers wander around, coffee in hands and we are polite to each other but we all recognise the quiet time of this space. I watched the trees and felt God at every turn. The Universe was with me today. Gentle drops fell from the leaves of trees and shards of light burst through onto the ground creating a light show that felt like it was just for me. I couldn't help but repeat the words “Thank you.” each time I saw a display of nature more beautiful than the next. Then, as if be magic a white feather fell right in front of my face, to the point of where I jumped a little, and I held my hand out and it landed right in the centre of my palm. There couldn't have been any more learer a sign than the Universe was with me and that is enough.
As you all know I'm looking for a new home at the moment. This one has sold and it is a bittersweet feeling. I love this home but I know I can't stay here any more. What we have been seeing so far hasn't been suitable. It's as if everything is “almost”. I'll see a house on a street I've always wanted to live on but then the neighbours are students, or slobs, or the house will need gutting. It's happened three times. Or I'll find a house that seems lovely but it's so far out that I won't have the lifestyle that I love and to be honest, that's the crux. That's where I won't budge. I love being able to grab a coffee and walk my dog on the beach but I can't see the house I am in love with yet. I keep feeling like it is close though, as if I'm just about to turn a corner and there it is or maybe that corner is my perspective and I'll reinvigorate a place that I've already seen? I think we are looking for a forever home and that might be the issue, maybe it's not time for that yet, maybe we need just one more step before we settle for good? I'm unclear on that right now, I'm still meditating and moving towards what feels right and when nothing feels right I move towards everything and let my gut guide me.
Being an open channel I sometimes get frustrated that the Universe can't just tell me where to go and what to do. I see other people's energy maps so clearly that during times like this I wish I could see my own. I get fragments, I get glimpses but it's never as clear as someone else's. Still when I get a little bit too thought-heavy a day like yesterday happens. The world opens up a little and let's me look at all the in between spaces and I get a reminder that it's all working for me. There is real magic and real miracle in the world around you if you're brave enough to look. I go searching as often as I can and even though I don't feel any clearer on the subject that's bouncing around my head right now I do feel better about it. Sometimes the Universe stands with you in solidarity rather than solving your puzzle for you. It just lets you know that there is something to hold onto during times of stress or worry and that no matter what is going on there are reminders that you live in a Universe of love and plenty. We do. We really do.
Thank you for reading,
Big Love,
Ryan James x