I love quiet mornings. Stu is fast asleep upstairs catching up on all the sleep that hes missed because of work recently and Oscar is curled up with me here by the heater. The house is losing it's morning chill and I am sat here having a natter with you guys. It's this wonderful intake of breath before the days starts. I can smell the rain outside and the streets are quiet. I love yawning into the day. I've always loved rainy days. When I was younger it was the perfect excuse for me to sit on my bed and draw or write without any of the adults around me nattering for me to go out and play. I havent' changed much. A good rainy day for me is still the same. Give me a sketchbook and a cuppa and I'm happy. With it being Easter I thought maybe I should write a blog about rebirth, fertility and renewal but most of you reading this have been amazing at making that a part of your life. I have watched so many of you turn your pain into power and taken the ashes of your life and rebuilt so many amazing things that I don't think you need too much guidance in that field. I think, seeing as we are all making our way through a pretty powerful retrograde that I'll keep on that theme.
So many of you have felt the power of this shift but in a really positive way. It really has been a reawakening and one that I myself have felt deeply. I was saying to my mother in law yesterday that I just can't seem to stop making and creating. I have this energy that really feels like I've had a light switched on inside my body. I am back to my cardio, back to daily creating, making music, daily writing, all of the pieces of my life that I have had a hard time juggling seem to have slotted into place. I think my main stumbling block has always been self doubt and I've been working on that for a long time and I'm not going to say that this retrograde has helped to take that away but it's definitely helped me to understand that it's something that will always be there. My self doubt always lead to self criticism which always lead to emotional and creative atrophy. Now, even if I hate what I'm making I still keep going. I acknowledge the voice in my head that is born of fear and I keep moving forward. The only two things that stop me are my intuition and any call I feel towards self care. I've learned more clearly than ever the distinction between doubt as a product of fear and an intuitive no.
Doubt is a part of everyone's life and it's something that I have had to work on for a long time. Its the million “I'm not sure's” that go unchecked when moving forward. It's O.K to have them, it's O.K to question but doubt is the part where you question so much that you actually stop moving forward. As I've said before the language of the Universe is fluid. When you MOVE the Universe reacts. If you go in a direction that is not for you then the Universe will provide a way out. You really are looked after at all times and in all places, you just have to learn to listen to the whispers. For me synchronicities or collaborations with me and the Universe happen every day. I always see numbers that are sacred to me ( 108, 1008, 11.11 ) and I always see white feathers. Yesterday a handful of white feathers blew over the car that me and Stu were in on the motorway towards his parents house! These are all little heads ups from the Universe that things are in alignment, that things are working out. The more you look for them, the more you see them and the more you push yourself out of questioning the intention of the world around you and into the active space of doing. Just keep moving. Action cures doubt so, no matter what direction just take a step!
Thank you for reading,
Have a great week ahead!
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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