Round and round and round again it's like my days bleed into one cyclical race. I am just jumping from one crisis to another, fixing one mess after another, putting out one fire after another before something erupts and blows my whole life apart. My spine constantly itches and my head gets physically hot as a low level panic runs at the base of my day. I finally reach the afternoon to realise that I haven't eaten yet. I ram something carb filled and sugary down my throat and keep going until I hit 10 o clock. Then I have a whole half hour to try and sort out the house into some sort of cohesive state before I go to bed for another restless night before I wake up and do it all again tomorrow. Sound familiar? That was my life at one point. Chaos addiction ran rampant through my mind and cost me way more than I was willing to give. The problem with chaos addiction is that you lose perpective quickly. You begin to treat the small bumps in the road with the same dramatic ferocity as huge life shifts. Your sense of value, proportion and grounding go roght out of the window and before you long you erode your physical and mental health.
Now there's a difference between being busy and being productive. There's a difference between having an active lifestyle and living inside a whirlwind and the way to tell the difference is self care. I woke up this morning tired but with a deep feeling of warmth, accomplishment and eagerness for my day. Lately I've been training myself to start the day with the phraze, “What a lovely day!”. I want to start my mind on a positive note before everything begins. I make the vitimin and mineral infused bomb that is my breakfast and then sit down to meditate and do my well being affirmations/creation statements. I try not to start my day until I feel amazing. I know that is a big ask for some of you but that time in the morning is precious. It starts me off right so that when and if I go off course during the day I can recognise it more. I carry meditation music on my phone so that if I feel the need to “regroup” my thoughts I can just put it on the background as I walk the dog or clean and it just resets my mind. I still have a lot to do throughout my day but I do it without it costing me my peace. It's a long process but one that ultimitely puts me at the centre of my co creation process. I build a peaceful life from the inside out, one good feeling at a time.
If you are reading this and you recognise some form of chaos or chaos addiction in your life. If you recognise an energy within yourself that is welcoming depletion, opening doors to energy vampires or fear based ideas that are just stopping you in your tracks then my advice is to start small. Put a 15 minutes practice into your morning routine. Really try to get it as early into your day as possible. Meditation is vital as a way to disable brain chatter and finding something that makes you laugh is a good way to bring a fun energy from the start. You have the right to decide when and where your energy goes. You draw the lines. If you don't, someone else will and you won't like what they do. If you are reading this in the middle of a storm that is your life then start small. Little and often is a philosophy I learned to live by. Joy, peace, happiness are cumulative. The more you step in their direction the more you create it around you. Leave chaos where ever you come across it and step into a balanced approach to your life. You can do this.
Thank you for reading.
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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