I wake an extra ten minutes early and give myself full license to ease into my day. Stuart is fidgeting next to me and the rain is hitting the bedroom window with force. I love these days when it's chilly outside and I know that I don't have to leave the house if I want to. As the alarm goes off and stu leapfrogs into the shower I go to the bathroom to be faced with a complete lack of toilet roll. Damn it! So I run quickly to the local shop... and they're closed. So I run in the rain to the next one. It's open! Awesome! I get me and Stu a chocolate bar as a reward. I come home, get into the shower and within seconds I'm stood in 2 inches of water. It's clogged. I continue, get out, go to get dressed when I hear Stu calling me. Whilst opening the curtains this morning he's managed to rip them completely off the rail and is stood holding them above his head whilst he has balanced a cup of tea precariously by his feet. I get dressed, put the curtains in the middle room to deal with later and then make the morning juices. The juicer breaks. It's the third time in as many months. I don't know what's going on with them. I really am not doing anything intentionally to break them they just seem to have a holy war against my morning nutrition. And this, is how I start my week.
Now throughout it all I could have gotten easily pissy about the whole thing. No one would really blame me if I did but to be honest all I've done is laugh this morning. It's been hilarious. The Universe doesn't have a vendetta against me, it's just sometimes things go wrong and if they are going to well I'd rather they happen quickly and get them out of the way. Now because of time I am going to meditate after this blog this morning and “reset” my energy if it's needed. To be honest I've been meditating a few times a day recently to keep an eye on myself. With so many intentional changes that I am making to my thinking process I want to be aware when my ego turns up and tries to hold me to the consistency of my past. Like this morning. I know it's chaos, I know it is, silly calamities that are designed to create a whirlwind of “white noise” to keep me in the space of disconnection. This morning I could have gotten angry at Stu, angry at the shower, angry at the lack of loo roll, angry at the weather, angry at the juicer, or even angry because Stu is driving past the place we bought it on the way home and forgot to take it with him. But no. Instead I chose to laugh, to find the light. To be happy that after it all I have a chocolate bar to enjoy later.
One of the things I didn't get initially when I started to really learn about cocreating your life is that there are so many parts of you in the mix. It's the whole of who you are that is replicated within your life. If you start loving yourself intentfully then that doesn't mean the 30 years of habit suddenly go away. That energy is still there, it's still creating your life. It just takes time and patience to not react to it any more as you filter better energy into yourself and the world around you quickly catches up. It's like when you see an ex. The first time you're nervous, maybe hurt, usually emotional. The fifth time less so. Years later they are just someone you used to be with. Time hasn't changed the ending, it hasn't changed the exchange of words, the break up or the pain you both might have endured but, it has changed the energy you bring to the situation. You react to it differently so the world adapts to that energy. There is always a period of transfer from one energy to the next and most of us are always in some small way in that space. Learn to recognise it. Learn to see it for what it is and remember that you may not always be in control of what turns up in front of you but you are always in control of how you react to it.
Thank you for reading,
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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P.S Happy equinox!