I've spoken many times about my journey into grace. For some people, finding that space of peace is an incremental journey but for me, it was a singular point. An explosion of light that changed me forever. I remember it clearly. The smell of the sea. The tears on my face. The moment the sky seemed to open up and I felt the awareness that I the space in between the molecules of matter. For lack of a better phrazing I connected to the energy, the conscious love that is the fabric of the world around us. Some call it finding God, some call it invoking the spirit, the languaging of it doesn't matter. What does matter, at least to me, is that it happened and I have forever been changed. The problem with my “waking” up process was that I had no idea how to acclimate or language what I was experiencing at the time. All I knew was that in an instant the life I had been living now felt foreign to me. My friends now seemed like strangers, the dreams that had kept me alive at points in my life now felt like burdens, my career and all sense of self was shattered. I lived inside a silent mind for about 6 months and during that time I connected with my inner voice in a way that it could no longer be denied.
This light, this evolution brought me directly to my truth and once I had found that most authentic part of me I could never comfortably lie to myself again. The thing with personal transformation that doesn't get spoken about enough is how deeply uncomfortable it is. You will feel the boundaries of your pain more than you ever have before. You will lose people, I lost a whole circle of people and for a while I stood on my own. That part of your journey is inevitable. It's surprising how few people will be able to stand with you in your truth but, as the premise of our Universe dictates, light recognises light. The connections, friendships that have turned up since that time have solid foundations in love. The relationships I have formed since that time are soul connections, created for the purpose of allowing us to mutually express our authentic selves. If you've been part of the spiritual community for a while you'll definitely see that there are some who play at this and some who are really willing to get into the belly of the beast. You can stick as many crystals as you like on your crown chakra but if you are not dealing with the deep intuitive pull to take your life in a new direction then it's not going to work.
If you are going to call light in you are going to have to be prepared to deal with what it brings. You can't invite an angel to your table and then ignore what it has to say. Do not mistake light for gentle, not always. Light can be fierce. It is the defining boundary of your conscience and the more you stay in that space the more your life will begin to manifest from a place of truth. You will sit with people in the space of love, doing something born out of love and in a body that you can't help but love. Your identity will shift from body based to spirit based. Truth will linger on your tongue, even in the moments when it might seem inappropriate to do so. All I can offer, if you are calling for an experience like this is to treasure it and to hold onto it when it comes. As your life shifts to resonate with the new frequency you will have to learn a new way of living, often with new people, often with new dreams and goals. The most important thing to do is to keep as vigilantly as you can to the space of your own honesty. That will be your sword and shield.
Thank you for reading,
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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