We all get off course in our lives and, by off course I mean that it can be really easy to begin negotiating your integrity in so many small and unnoticeable ways that you eventually find yourself knee deep in a life that looks nothing like the real you. Have you ever said, “I feel like I'm losing myself.”? Or maybe, “I've lost myself.”? I hear it a little too often for my liking from some of you and that's a clear sign that somewhere along the way you have sold yourself short. At some point in your history you begun to accept less that your greatness and piece by piece you degraded yourself until you just went with the path of least resistance. The problem with the path of least resistance in this context is that it can damn near kill you. It's people pleasing. It's putting other people first in a way that costs you. I recommend a spiritual practice that reminds you DAILY to remember who you really are and what you love about yourself and your life. It's this reminder that puts you in touch with how you are really feeling, not how you are trying to convince yourself how you are feeling and then from that point you can make more honest decisions.
Most people are afraid that if they speak their truth that other people will get hurt and the hard pill to swallow is that they are sometimes right. The truth sometimes hurts. It's just a fact. The cold light of day isn't always pretty. Sometimes you have to break someone's heart to set it free. Sometimes you have to release yourself from a job because it's hurting you. What some don't understand is that NOT telling the truth hurts more. The harsh light of truth is always a better choice than being deceitful. That's the first step in correcting your path. Being honest with who you are and getting in a relationship with your truth. If you are reading this and have found yourself inside a life that feels nothing like the real you then take is as an opportunity. Day by day, piece by piece pull your life together in the direction your heart is telling you go to. Start by admitting to yourself where you are and using that as a platform to start exploring and making decisions.
I had to admit to myself that I was gay, psychic, an artist, not in love with an ex, not happy in an old job, not happy in creative pursuits and that's just the tip of the iceberg. If I hadn't admitted those truths to myself I wouldn't be where I am today. Writing this curled up in bed with my dog after making my fiance banana pancakes for breakfast and waiting to start a job I'm in love with. My entire life now is a platform built out of and in the feeling space of love. That doesn't mean I don't have problems or that I'm not still growing. That doesn't mean I don't get temporarily off course, of course I do. I just don't stay there any more and I certainly don't make a lifestyle out of it. It's not just that you can have a love centred life it's that you deserve it. You really do. But it's not going to come easy. You have to cultivate it, work within it, surrender what doesn't look like it and learn to love yourself in ways you haven't allowed yourself to before. If you feel like you are losing who you are then take a step back and find that little piece of unrelenting hope that lies in each of us. Ground yourself in it and work it within your heart, doing that is the first step to getting back to centre.
Thank you,
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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