I am a firm believer in no matter where you are that there is always something you can do to improve your situation. I really do feel like there is always a new way of looking at what you already have. We are all coerced into the idea that the thing that will make us happy is somehow “out there”. When you get the right job/husband/wife/fame/body that the feeling of bliss will come along with it. I'm sorry to tell you but that's just not the case. I've read millionaires and people without a pot to pee in we are all looking for the same thing. The feeling of love. Don't get me wrong having more money, a six pack abs, the love of your life doting on you and a career you love isn't going to make you sad but if it's not built on and or out of the feeling place of love then it won't make you happy either. So often we fall into the trap of trying to fix our lives from the outside in that we don't take stock of what we are creating. It's the reason we hold onto dead relationships, it's the reason we stay in jobs past their sell by date and it's the reason we destroy ourselves for a picture perfect life. When you build from the inside out, when you put love at the center of who you are your life will be anything but picture perfect and trust me you'll be glad! Your life will be more of a fun house painting done blindfold and with finger paints instead of brushes! Your life will be a rich tapestry with bits falling off it rather than a well posed photograph that blends into the background.
I know it can be easy for me to write this in a blog but the piece of information that often get's left out is the “how”. We all know on some level that love should be the foundation of our lives but how do we get there? It starts with the most uncomfortable conversation you'll ever have with yourself and it will require something that we have all learned to habitually resist called radical honesty. It begins with a daily process of you honouring the things that are in your heart and honouring that deep calling to do what you know you should be doing. Even with all the access I have to spiritual information this is an ongoing process for me. Sometimes I need to journal or “mind dump” as much chatter out of my brain as possible to get to this small quiet place within me but the problem is even when I get there, even when I hear the information I still find ways to ignore it. So finding what you need to do is only the first step, the second step and the most important is finding the courage to honour it.
This is where accountability comes in. I know some spiritual people tell you not to disclose your ideas and insights with others but I disagree. I think, so long as you have carefully selected a group that is rooted in honouring you that the accountability you bring to yourself through sharing can often be what you need to take the next steps. When I get an insight about something I should be doing I share it with my nearest and dearest so that when my ego kicks in and starts trying to take me off course I have people who can gently remind me about what I said and thought when my mind was clear. Community and creating a community of champions is one of the hardest tasks I've ever had to do. Those people who are willing to listen when you are lost and those people who are willing to hold you up to your own standard when you go a little bit off course. Sometimes those people aren't around you and you have to do that for yourself. It's harder but it can be done. Over the years I've had to learn to be my own best friend, my own critic, my own manager. This is an exhausting way to live and I am so grateful that I learned about real, honest, dignified community. It really has been my saving grace. Remember that you don't have to do it all but you do have to make a start!
Thank you for reading,
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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