You can't shake a stick in the self help genre without stumbling over the idea of affirmations, which, if you do happen to be new to all of this, is the idea of repeating a positive statement over and over again until you believe it to be true. It's the principle that if you don't love who you are then saying it over and over again can help you convince yourself. I know it sounds a bit suss but stay with me. You are the first person to hear any words coming out of your mouth. You hold the vibration of them in your body and you carry them around. Now I personally don't think the words themselves do the damage because I think that language is a benign construct. It's how those words are used and the intention behind them that gives them their context and therefore their power. I have given nearly enough everything a go with it comes to affirmations and for me languaging something more positively does help. I don't see it as a cure though. I don't think repeating something over and over again helps you to make it true but I do think it can be a key to unlock an inner dialogue to get you to a better feeling place.
For me, just saying the opposite of something will just end up making me more frustrated. When I don't feel worthy, just repeating, “I am worthy!” doesn't help because I know that's not what I'm feeling at that moment and I have a lingering attachment to emotional honesty that I can't quite shift. So, instead, I say things like, “I am looking forward to the moment I feel worthy again.”. It sounds so simple and it's so silly but it really works for me. “I am looking forward to...” and fill in the blank. I am looking forward to feeling better about money. I am looking forward to feeling so in love with my soul mate that I could jump up and down on the spot. I am looking forward to being able to travel where I want, when I want. You get the idea. I find that instead of trying to jump to a space that doesn't feel honest for me that if I take small steps there then I get there faster. “I'm looking forward to,” disassociates me from my present state, acknowledges the energy of where I am going and also leaves room for me to feel excited about it. I see it as an invitation to moving energy in a better direction.
Using language and relanguaging the world has always been a powerful tool to move me out of a negative space. As soon as I have a handle on where I am I use the energy and context of language to move me to a place of letting go so that I can rise to where I want to be. Another little tip to help you with this is to try and write it down. I have a small notebook I keep with me and if I catch myself actualising a thought, an energy or a feeling that isn't helping me then I find a place to start scribbling away until I feel better again. I am looking forward to. I am open to. I am eager to begin feeling. Find a version of this that works for you but don't pretend that it's working if it isn't. Really find a way to language the world that has a resonance with how you are actually feeling. This isn't about faking a good feeling or thought in the hope that one day it will just show up. This a gentle way to ease yourself into a better feeling place by acknowledging that there is a next step to take in order to get out of it. Sometimes just knowing that there is a way out is enough to help you move in that direction. You can do this!
Thank you for reading,
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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