It normally stars with me slipping into a lull. I start watching more T.V than I want to, I get restless, I don't want to meditate. I basically start to morph into a whiny teenager. Stu even says to me that I have my “whiny face” on ( which may tell you more about our relationship than I would want you to know! Haha ). He's right though and I know that when that maudlin, angst ridden persona starts to show it's face that I need to get back to the things that I know lift my spirit. In the past I didn't recognise what was happening. I hadn't fully shed my own victimhood and I used to believe that emotions were things that happened to you rather than a relationship that you built. Becuase of this the whining went on for much longer than it needed to and grew to a much grander more dramatic scale that it ever should have. Thankfully my studies helped me to learn that happiness, or even day to day contentment is something that is generated. Even if you have the best job, the best lover, the best body condition available to you that doesn't guarantee you lasting happiness. You still have to get up, day to day and choose to invest your time into the things that lift you.
You won't always feel like doing the things that lift you. That sadness is often glamorous and attractive. Who wouldn't want to lay there for a few days feeling all dramatic about themselves? I get it and sometimes I still do it but that's why it's important to have some sort of spiritual practice. It acts a reminder that you have the ability to take control of a situation and make it your own. You may not be able to do much, but you can do something. For instance I mentioned in my blog last week that I hurt my knee ( yes I still can't walk on it ) and for a few days I conveniently “forgot” to check in with myself to see why I had created this situation. There must be a reason I chose to practically confine myself to the house? I'm in the process of unravelling it but for that few days I reveled in the “woe” of it all. Now we all know some people who spend their entire lives in that moment. We all know people who thrive on being ill and make it the topic of all conversations and we have all dabbled on that line ourselves but the question is, once you've realised what you're doing are you going to continue to chose to do it?
I know you as a powerful creator of worlds. I know that the Universe delivers to us the sum of our own energy even if we don't like what that is. I certainly don't like being sat here with a hot water bottle on my knee writing this but I own the fact that I created this situation. I own that it is on me to take time to heal. It is on me to make the most of what is in front of me and it is on me to find the joy at the centre of it all. My life is my own making and yours is up to you. You may have woken up and found yourself inside a life that doesn't feel like it belongs to you but the second you have woken up is the point where you are most powerful. From that moment on you are no longer a victim of circumstance but a powerful, magical, miracle maker who can shape your life in the direction of your choosing. You can and will become something more than you have been before. But as powerful as you are you still have to step into that power. You still have to take an active approach to your joy. Everyday happiness is built not discovered. It is created not found so go and make something, do something, find a place that lifts you and once you've done that, find another!
Thank you for reading,
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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