You'd have to be a sociopath to look out in the world today and not feel some form of sadness. Being a spiritual person is not about denying what's wrong with the world. It's also not about creating a bubble to protect yourself from all of the horrors of what's happening. It just means you make the conscious choice on a day to day basis to not put any power there. When I look at racism, bigotry, homophobia, world hunger, the meat industry, war, big pharma and all the other hundreds of institutions that actively try to profit from suffering I get just as angry and just as sad as the next person. I allow my feelings. I don't fight against them. If I'm sad about it then I let myself be sad. If I'm angry then I let myself be angry. I've noticed that when I fight against my feelings they just persist. What I am also aware of during those moments is that I am not my feelings. They don't have to dictate my actions. They can be a catalyst for love. For instance when I looked at the meat industry and the cruelty to animals I was angry, sad and I felt a little hopeless. I could have stayed in that space for years if I'd wanted to but instead I chose a plant based diet. I acted within my own conscience to use that experience to do something that I considered loving.
When I see homophobia, bigotry, racism in the world it doesn't just upset me, it also inspires me to act in the space of unity, inclusiveness and brotherhood. Sadness doesn't have to be debilitating. I used to allow sadness to run rampant over my life. I lived under the premise that my emotions were to not only be allowed but also surrendered to in terms of how I physically behave. Whilst sometimes if I feel crappy I still curl up with a bowl of dairy free icecream I don't stay there for days now until the feeling passes. I understand that I am a warden of my emotions not their employee. It is a fine line between knowing when to just curl up and when to fight against it and for me that's usually a 24 hour rule. I'm not talking about grief here, that's a seperate beast from sadness although there are some similarities in the healing process. If I'm having a day where I feel a bit sad I self soothe, I make sure I meet up with friends, I create more. If it's really overwhelming I sit down with a bunch of junk food and watch movies all day and really allow my ego to “go there” but I do it with the understanding that this behaviour ends at the end of the day.
In a culture that fetishises happiness we have forgotten that its O.K to feel sad from time to time. It's a natural part of the human experience. We seem to have demonised every emotion other than happiness. A normal set point for any human being is contentment not happiness. It is not a failure to feel sad, it's not a failure to feel angry, upset, chaotic, unfocussed. These are all normal. I think we have forgotten this because we have forgotten in many ways to put family at the centre of our experience. Instead of being in an environment where we would be in contact with people of all different ages and experiences we have cut ourselves off. We've become singular, almost monastic in our apporach to our lives. The older generation saw happiness for what it really was, a beautiful part of a much wider tappestry not a goal to be achieved. Take your time, be gentle with yourself and keep moving.
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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