It is my firm belief that if a relationship, any relationship has it's foundations in love that it can, at some point return to that. Unfortunately what tends to happen over time, especially if you are not energy aware is that you begin to negotiate parts of your mind, spirit, your entire energy system even as the relationship evolves. You let small things slip and slide, you get to a point where you can't be bothered to speak up, you check out emotionally and then once auto pilot has set in you've hammered a nail in the coffin. There are some relationships in my past that have been killed off completely because of this. Because I allowed so much to go unchecked both within myself and the other person that eventually the entire interaction became toxic. I am grateful for these lessons in hindsight because there is nothing on this earth that will get you more clear about your boundaries than someone who betrays them. So what do you do when you wake up in the middle of a situation like this? Are your friends becoming so chaotic you no longer want to hang around them? Is your relationship feeling like it's going off course or has completely jumped the ship? Don't worry, all is not lost. The first things you need to do is recognise the lesson.
What energy contracts do you have with the people around you? What do you give them permission to take from you? What behaviours do you indulge in that you know are hurting you? In the past I have allowed people to treat me like a punch bag, an accessory, a permanent therapist and I can't blame them for it at all because it was what I offered. I served my soul on a plate. I people pleased at all levels. I put others first above all else which on the surface sounds noble but it's actually energetically really quite dangerous. The problem with helping others without any appropriate boundaries within yourself is that you always end up doing for others what they can do for themselves. You get taken advantage of. You get walked over. It's not your job to blame the other person for doing that, all they were doing was accepting the invitation you laid out for them. Your job is to identify within you what sent out that invite in the first place. For me it was all about approval. The second I found some self worth I stopped investing in this kind of behaviour. I put love as the basis for everything in my life. Anything that didn't match that was not welcome.
The good thing about recognising your contracts with the people around you is that once you have seen what you are doing you can change them. The other good thing is that you will lose the people that aren't able to meet you where you currently are. It might not feel good at the time but trust me, as someone who's done it, that it feels so much better a little further down the road. Also, once you have decided to live in a “Love or Above” vibration people on that level will find you. People that have no need to take but bring their full selves to the table with no other intention than to play and explore the world around you. So when you are looking at a relationship that appears broken, before you go pointing fingers and diving into the chaos of it all sit back and think about what you bring to the table. What have you allowed to go unchallenged? What have you created as acceptable by your behaviour? Remember that you deserve better, you deserve love, you deserve happiness in whatever form that takes for you and you are the only person that can give that to yourself.
Thank you for reading,
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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