I'd quite rightly had trouble sleeping that night but it did not stop me from leaping out of bed at 6am the next morning. I shivered as I walked into the cold and I looked through the frost covered windows into the sky just to double check to see if Santa had arrived. My heart was pounding in my chest and my little brother had joined me to begin the onslaught that was to be our present opening. Christmas 1997. I was young enough to still believe in Santa but old enough to start to want presents that were a little more costly. It was just me, my little brother and my mum in our house in Blaen Y Maes. There was a rule in our house that if the kids saw the presents before the parents then they would magically dissapear so we dutifully made sure that mum was up and out of bed to open the living room door. Me and my little brother were assured we had been good boys all year ( ish ) and so we waited for the mountain of presents that lay by the tree. We were not dissapointed. Neck deep in wrapping paper, visits from family, egg and soldiers for breakfast and mam trying her best to look and act awake are some of my favourite memories from my childhood. Of course now as an adult I see it slightly differently. We had so little money that every year without fail my mum went into debt to give me and my brother everything we wanted. Family helped as much as they could and I can honestly say that I never went without.
The strength of my mum, her compassion and her maternal guidance opened the door for me to truly begin to understand the strength of women in total. I can't imagine how tough it would be to have 2 kids to support on your own, let alone doing it at 25. We were so blessed that my mum had 3 sisters and sisters in law that everything got taken care of. As a young man I watched as women actualised what was needed seemingly out of thin air. Women have a magic about their spirits that even though I don't think I can truly understand I can definitely empathise and revere. The tenacity of spirit and the capacity to create strong, intimate community wherever they go has always astounded me. As a man, like most men, I am quite comfortable being a “lone wolf”. I need peace and quiet and prefer to exist in a linear, sequential mindset. Women are more collaborative in their thinking, their lives more like tapestries. In wales the old celtic tribes were centred around a divine masculine AND a divine feminine. When we stopped acknowledging goddesses as well as gods we lost our respect for the power at the heart of the female spirit.
We've all had many lifetimes as both genders. The spirit chooses the flavour of life it needs to action balance. What I wanted to offer to every women reading this today is nothing other than to let you know that I see you. I am doing my best to honour you and I am grateful for your strength, courage and wisdom. For men reading this I would like to offer you the opportunity to witness the divine feminine at work in the world. It's all an intricate and loving balance. I am not romanticising women, nor exhaulting them. From what I'm told and from what I see in the world that's not what's needed or wanted. Acknowledgment, connection, empathy, these are the tools that will open dialogue between male and female consciousness. So tonight fella's, it's valentines and if you have a special lady in your life make sure she knows you're on her side. That you are with her when she needs you. Ladies, be kind to other women. Uplift each other. Love each other. Respect the divine feminine in yourself and then hold it sacred wherever you see it in the world.
Thank you,
Big Love,
Ryan James x
www.facebook.com/psychicswansea