My Loves, 

 

Warm spring light pushed it's way through the edges of my curtains this morning and I found myself in that delicious ten minutes before the alarm goes off. Cosy, restful and on the right side of sleepy I wanted to spiritually absorb the last moments of my dream state before I sat up and pulled my journals onto my lap. I can honestly say, right now, right at this point in my life, with a clear heart that I am happy, truly happy. 

 

I feel like I am who I always should have been. I think that I love now with the heart I had before the trauma of the world took me over. I love now with the wild abandon of the young fearless kid I have always been in my heart. I still have my days, of course, but they are now becoming few and far between. I feel loved and loving and I have full awareness that I am gratefully growing into a my own beautiful truth. 

 

I used to think that I had to heal my trauma to get to the love at my center, that somehow a deeper version of me existed behind a wall of lessons that I needed to conquer. That's simply not the case. The most beautiful, wild, loving, powerful version of me has always been with me. It's literally a breath away. We never stop being connected to our true selves but I totally empathise that it can feel like it. 

 

It has taken me 40 years to realise that I came to this planet spiritually complete. I was right and fine and true and beautiful and all the other things all along. I was never the problem. A culture that was scared of the light inside of people like me, and probably like you too, was always the issue. The problem was that I had learned young that my truth, my light was actively and sometimes violently rejected by the world around me. I didn't feel safe and I needed to feel safe in order to fully show up. I highly recommend looking into self parenting, looking at the earliest places where you learned you weren't safe. Love that part of you. Protect that part of you. Create and work on a safe space. 

 

For me I began to feel safe when every other aspect of my life fell apart. It's weird but, when I had nothing else to hold onto the only thing I could find within me was my truth. My light. That tiny stubborn spark that called me towards it over and over again. Sometimes that spark whispered “Hold on.”, sometimes it whispered “Let go” and sometimes it sent me to bed to start the day all over again. Either way, in the beginning stages of reconnecting with your own truth, a truth you have often spent an entire life time being talked out of it's best to take a “slow and steady” approach. I had to re learn my own voice and re learn it at a deeper, more truthful level. 

 

That's part of what I would like to offer out today. Maybe we are not on deep spiritual journey's to “find” ourselves. Maybe we already know who we are, we just have to shed the expectations and weights of a culture that fears that knowing. One of my favourite quotes ever is from a Terry Pratchett book, “You'll spend your entire life learning what's already in your bones.”. Your truth is the safest thing about you. Do what you can to allow it, to sink into it and to remember. You knew this once and I believe you can know it again. 

 

Big Love, 

 

Ryan James xx

www.psychicswansea.com

www.psychicswansea.co.uk

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