I lived my life by it. I was ruled by it and all the chaos that comes along with it. I followed it so blindly that it almost destroyed me. What am I talking about? Passion. Yes, that thing! The morning I remember clearly. I was in another musicians bed, drenched from a small fever that had started in the night and tired from a complete lack of sleep. Sometimes personal truths come from those moments when you just don't have the strength to fight even your own inner nonsense and that was mine. My journey with music had to come to an end. At the very least I had to end the way I was doing it. But for years I had called, championed even music as my one and only passion so sitting in that space and not feeling it threw me off course. Plus I listened to what every guru, master and friend said at the time which was, to follow my passion. I had unknowingly associated a huge part of my character to something outside of myself and I know that we can all do that to some degree. I thought music was my passion because it was the only platform through which I had expereinced it so when that went away I went into complete creative breakdown. I've spoken many times about the 18 month period where I couldn't write, sing or paint and it was that time that taught me everything I needed to know so far about passion, about creativity and about finding the right place for things in your life.
These days I don't follow passion but that doesn't mean I don't acknowledge it's importance or keep it as a consistency in my life. I need it to be there but now it sits as a member of the chorus rather than the conductor. I now understand that passion is something that I bring to the table and that music, art, writing, even my readings are only vehicles for the energy that I bring. If for any reason any of those things that I love to invest my passion in are taken away it doesn't stop me from having a relationship with passion itself. I have learned to separate the two things. I try my best to not overtly identify with any passionate expression and I try to root myself in the passion itself. This way of thinking has lead me to have a more appropriate relationship with passion and I now no longer uproot my life to chase it. The good thing about passion is that you get to invest is this vibrant, elegant dance between you and the forces of inspiration. The bad thing is that if you're not careful you can become so consumed with that interaction that you end up destroying your whole life. Passionate love affairs are a clear example of how easy it is to get lost inside a feeling. Although I don't recommend getting lost inside it, I do recommend a good wander!
I do believe that we all need a passion project in our lives. Something that we do solely for the hell of it. What passion project or projects are you currently invested in? Or what would you like to do? Cooking? Gardening? Painitng? Music? Writing? Repairing vehicles? Woodwork? What project could you sit with for hours and let the time fly by you? For me it's allthe stuff you see littered over my social media. Art, music, writing, poetry, I've even become interested in a bit of sculpture lately! I give everything a go and I recommend it for a healthy sense of self connection. Everything around you in spiritual circles tells you to follow your passion and I even did it myself for a time BUT I've learned more now. Keep passion in your life as the dear, wise, enlightened friend it was designed to be but you can't let that friend run your life. That grace was only ever designed for you. Listen to your passion by all means but only ever follow your gut.
Thank you for listening,
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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P.S. Continue the conversation below and share your insights and experiences with passion!