Stop expecting people to be something they're not. I do believe that people change but it's always in their own time and as a process of their own evolution. If you're telling yourself a story about someone hoping it will one day change them then you're simply wasting your time. My favourite quote from Maya Angelou is that, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”. This struck a chord with me a long time ago and has helped me to make many changes to my life and I want to offer that lesson out. The more you accept your own truth the more you will see the truth of others. You'll see their heart and spirit. If it's in alignment with yours then perfect, if it isn't then it may be time to part ways for a while.
So many of us have invented a version of who we thought someone was and held onto it. Many of us have also felt the sting of someone assuming we are something we're not. It's all the same. While it is true you will always see the world through the filter of your own beliefs and people do always show you what's in your heart it's the changes you make as a result of that information that tends to have a lasting effect. Some people may leave your life, some may come back. I personally tend to leave the doors open except in some specific cases where I feel my boundaries are being disrespected. I love all those around me, past and present unconditionally and it's that love and that respect that I make room for in my life. If you can't bring it and you can't carry it then you have no place with me. It's the only way to ensure you remain loving to yourself and those around you. Strong boundaries is easy, but strong boundaries with forgiveness and acceptance requires a little observation.
Go through yourself and your life with a fine tooth comb. Honour what you bring to the table and be clear about what others can and can't bring to you. When someone shows you their true face love them no matter what it looks like but that doesn't mean it can remain in your life if it's not what you want. Sometimes the face people show you is unrecognisably beautiful and THOSE are the people that I choose to litter my life with and I would love it if everyone did the same!
Big Love
Ryan James