Let them love you.
One of the most challenging things for me as a human being was not to allow my love out into the world but to allow myself to be loved. So much of the love I experienced throughout my early life and especially throughout my twenties came with attachments. There was always an “undercurrent” or some form of hidden agenda. So, in time I learned to remain distant, disconnected and I built extremely rigid barriers around myself. I got used to giving my heart out to others and it being betrayed, I got used to living in that kind of pain and disconnection, it wasn't until that pain became unmanageable that I finally had to seek help. I reached out to friends and family, I reached out to healers and mystics, I reached out to writers and philosophers and in that seeking the right teachers turned up.
The most incredible teacher in love I have ever had is my boyfriend. He turned up in my life nearly four years ago now and I can hand on heart say I have never felt a love like it. It's unrelenting nature and consistently pure and uplifting bliss has changed me forever. There were no nasty arguments or the picking apart of each others character and there was no role or expectation on what we would fulfil for each other. It was, is and continues to be a sharing of love. At first when he turned up I had no idea what to do with myself. I found myself inventing small problems and thank god for my diaries because when I wrote them down even I could see each petty “problem” was nothing other than absolutely ridiculous! He has always just loved me. He has never made me responsible for how he feels about himself and I have, in time, learned to return the favour. Once I had learned, truly learned to let him love me that ethos bled out into the rest of my life. My barriers came down and I could finally let a lot of other people in. Those that couldn't handle who I was becoming were gently lifted from my life and those who were ready for the Ryan James LOVE FEST quickly turned up to enjoy the party.
When we have been hurt we all build up walls. We hope that they offer us comfort and support but they always take up to a place of solitude. These walls are nothing other than a pain management skill but they tend to keep the pain in instead of healing it. The second you begin to heal yourself, to love yourself and to let yourself be loved you no longer need these walls and you can let them go. I know from my experience that it is not a small thing to do but trust me, it can be done. Letting yourself be loved can be more difficult than loving those around you but take small and steady steps and one day you'll look back and realise you were worthy of it all along.
Thank you for listening.
Big Love
Ryan James
www.facebook.com/psychicswansea
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