Four whole days!
The Shadow self, the Ego, the internal sabeteur, we all have that part of us that prefers consistency as opposed to freedom. I have been facing mine recently in a brand new and shiny way that is as clever as it is destructive. Let's be clear, we all contain that part of us and it doesn't want you to achieve in a way that is lasting, it doesn't want you to a succeed in a way that is healthy and it certainly doesn't understand peace, love or enlightenment without bringing to the table formidable elements of control. As you all know I do my best to bring you the best of who I am in all my endeavours. When I am doing a reading, a healing, a painting, a song, a book I try my best to put into place what needs to be put into place so that I can be calm, connected and productive all at the same time. I don't always get there straight away and even when I am there I can easily slip into my own personal crazyness. Like this week for instance...
I set out my list of things to do at the beginning of every week. I have a little hour to myself every Sunday evening and see what I want to bring to the table but this Sunday I must have been out of my centre because looking at my list today I have given myself about a months work to do in five days! Crazyness! I let my crazy mind set the tone for what I wanted to get done instead of being centred. Thankfully some part of my spirit must have been engaged because at the very top of my list I wrote the sentence “What does God want me to do today?”. It's in the asking of that sentence and listening to the answer that I am feeling more decidedly normal! We all do it though don't we? There is a divine intelligence within us, a knowing that goes deep into our heart that gives us a specific map as to what we are supposed to do to bring ourselves the most happiness and what do we frequently do?? Go off on our own! We ignore the divinely inspired instructions and create our own lists. It's like having god herself stand in front of you and telling you to become an artist and you saying, “...but I want to be an accountant!”.
My ignorance of this divine instruction has lead me off course for about 4 days in my own personal work. I haven't done much writing, I haven't done much praying and my good old friend Sugar has made a new appearance this week too. So, today I went deep into prayer and found my centre again. I was able to listen to what was being said to me and the words were clear, “Write!”. So here I am writing, setting up my day to work on my novel, write in my journals and fill my poetry and song books. There is a voice right now, deep in our hearts telling us what to do. Finding it is easy, sticking with it and creating a space for it is the tricky part. You will go off course, but, if you put the practices in place you won't go off course for long. Previously I might have stayed in my crazyness for weeks if not months. This time it was just 4 days before I caught myself acting less that lovingly towards myself. A quick course correction and I am back at my centre again!
Phew!
Thank you for listening,
Big Love
Ryan James
www.facebook.com/psychicswansea