So this weekend my boyfriend had to go to Birmingham for a work thing so I had the whole house to myself. I didn't drink wine and party, I didn't order a pizza, no, nothing that exciting...I cleaned and re arranged my art room. I'm too rock and roll! It was the first time I had spent the night alone in this house so my lovely dog Oscar thought it was the most appropriate time to start randomly yawning and making noises that no dog should ever make. Now I'm not generally a scared person and I'm used to random noises with living in an old house but to say I didn't have to do a few burgular sweeps ( and of all things I chose to yield as a weapon I took a bongo drum... a bongo drum! What was I going to do serenade a burgular? ) would be a giant fib. It also didn't help that somewhere on the hill someone thought 3am would be the most perfect time to let off fireworks. Oscar immediately thought we were under attack so after calming him down I was wide awake at 4am watching crappy sci fi on Netflix. Weirdly enough I remembered the last time I was sat up late at night alone in my bed and that was just before Stuart entered my life. I remember it clearly being sat there wide awake and realising that it might be a long time before I would get to enjoy a whole bed to myself again. I was right! It's been more or less 5 years now and I share my bed with Stu and sometimes Oscar. I've gotten used to sleeping on a slip of bed the size of a ruler!
We really don't tend to appreciate what is right in front of us and gratitude is not a one off lesson. It's a practice that will suit you best if you invest in it daily. I sometimes grumble that I have to walk the dog for so long every day right up until the point I see how happy his little face is and how beautiful the park we are in is and how wonderful the trees are. I sometimes grumble that I have too many art commissions and ideas and things on my “to do” list and then I remember what it was like when I had writers block for over a year and I shut up and paint happily. It's up to me to take the best of my experiences and use them to keep me in a good space. We've all met those people who have an incanny ability to make a mountain out of a molehill. I have witnessed people having full out arguments over the most ridiculous stuff. I see clients all the time focussed on the one small thing in their lives that isn't going according to plan yet and in doing so missing out on all the good stuff that's happening. I was very guilty of that at one time but now thankfully through my gratitude practice even when I do slip into a grumble I don't tend to stay there for long.
Your perspective can and often does alter the way you handle a situation and there are many ways you can look at everything. I try and find the best “feeling place” in the middle of whatever is happening. If you are going through a break up you can look at it as a devastating loss or that the Universe is preparing something better for you. If you have lost your job you can rant and rave about the injustice or simply look at it as an opportunity to explore your purpose on the planet. Don't get me wrong you are entitled to every emotion that you experience but you can always reach for something better. I have met people who have used a break up or a job loss to not feel good for years and years and it's when you realise these things were sent to change you and elevate you it's in that perspective that you offer yourself the healing you need. If you are reading this and knee deep in something that feels terrible look for the best of it. Look at the lesson at it's centre and look for what you are learning through it. When I find myself in something that doesn't feel great I try my best to shift to a place that is grateful, even if I don't know what I'm being grateful for at the time I begin by looking for something that feels good even if it's nothing to do with the situation at hand. Water will rise to it's own level and so does energy and you have the power to choose.
Thank you for listening,
Big Love,
Ryan James
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