I recognise the energy so instictively these days that it takes a while for it to leave my gut. I am so grateful that I went through the things I did with the people I went through it with because as I have gotten older I am becoming more and more adept at spotting power plays. A long time ago I did a psychic evening in a pub and it was so badly managed that I ended up standing on the actual bar with a mic doing readings. Now anyone in their right minds would have left long before that but, unfortunely I wasn't in my right mind. That night I had people waving money in my face taunting me, I was being insulted by the bar staff whilst I was actually stood on the bar reading and every time I stopped for a 5 minute break I was flooded by people demanding that because they had paid their £2 at the door that I should give them all a 30 minute reading. Looking back I wish I could have given myself a shake or a clip upside the head because as vile as some of the people that were behaving like that to me I was opening the door to it. The man that waved money in my face and laughed at me to his friend, I actually went over to try and read them. I was so used to this emotionally violent energy exchange that at the time I didn't see anything wrong with it. I let people treat me like crap. I almost danced on the spot for their approval each time they snapped their fingers and I did it over and over.
I clearly remember the state I was in the day after that night. I hadn't realised it but that was the beginning of my process of treating what I do with the respect it deserves. I had taken it to the extreme and I spent the next few days unveiling the horror stories my friends had experienced that night keeping even more horrific people from me. ( sidenote : they weren't ALL bad. The woman who sat me down, bought me a cola and actually asked me if I was alright has never left my heart ). I've never done a psychic night since and will likely never do so. I do toy with the idea now and again and I do sometimes miss the sense of community it can bring but if it does ever happen I will be strictly vigilant on how, when and where. Basically that night I offered my energy out to anyone that fancied a piece. I betrayed it on all levels and although I don't regret it because of what I learned from it I do sometimes wish I could go back and hug who I was.
Now psychically we all understand that idea of energy exchange. We understand the damage we do to ourselves when we are not conscious or aware but this doesn't just apply to psychics. We ALL have to be aware of the energy agreements that we keep. If you are in an environment where you are not being treated fairly then it's your job to figure out which part of yourself you have given over. Why have you opened your soul out to being attacked? Your energy is precious and should be treated as such. Whenever I sense, even in the slightest someone trying to engage in an energy exchange that I haven't agreed to then I do everything in my power to leave that situation. Thankfully it doesn't happen that often but when someone engages in that it really weighs on my stomach instantly. You have the right to be treated fairly, to be treated with kindness and compassion but you aren't going to recognise that behaviour until you treat yourself like that in the first place. These days I do all I can to honour and respect the craft of what I do. If I don't I'll hurt and deplete myself like I did before and I won't ever knowingly do that to myself again.
You are a being of light and that light deserves to be protected, respected and guarded with everything that you have.
Thank you for reading,
Big Love,
Ryan James x
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