Hello Loves,
I know my people and I know that you know what I’m about to try and describe. There’s a tiredness, a fatigue that is bone deep. Your body is relatively healthy, your life is evolving as usual, there are stresses in your life but none that should leave you as tired and as blurry around the edges as you feel. To add insult to injury, to sprinkle a little extra confusion into the mix, your mind is trying to find what the problem is but your intuition is bizarrely quiet. There are no blaring warnings, no divine signs as to the core of the problem and of course no real feeling of rest. So what now?
Firstly, you aren’t doing anything wrong. Our entire society has removed us from the way we are supposed to live. Human beings are seasonal. We are supposed to have seasons of deep and hard work followed by deep rest. We are supposed to live communally. We are supposed to exist in a matriarchy. We are supposed to live by the wisdom of Grandmother. We are supposed to live in alignment with the planet and with the seasons. Sometimes just being in the society we have created is tiring because fundamentally we understand that we are not supposed to be living the way that we are. But things are changing.
If you are reading this then you’ll know, the moon has been calling us again. The spiritual seekers, the ones who cannot and will not acclimate. We are being reminded of our magic, of our connection. We are living amongst the voices of our ancestors, feeling the wisdom of spirits and honouring their presence alongside our own. We are returning to our truth over and over again. Knowing this is one thing and there is a certain pressure it can alleviate but, does it help us with being tired?
Not really.
And I think there is another layer to this that we don’t always talk about. There is a particular exhaustion that comes from constantly evolving. From always looking within, always asking what the lesson is, always releasing, healing, shifting, growing, becoming. At some point spiritual “growth” is not growth at all. It can quickly become another job. Another place where we are expected to constantly improve ourselves, constantly understand ourselves, fix ourselves and somehow become a more enlightened version of who we already are. But that too is seasonal. What if you don’t need to become anything more than who you are right now?
So how do we make that change? How do we take back our energy? How do we reclaim the pieces of us that we have lost to a system that is designed to keep us drained in order to keep us compliant? That part seems simple but it’s not easy. You must return to your WILD. Yes, it’s time to be feral! As the Full Moon in Aries rises this weekend, it’s the perfect time to release the warrior spirit within you. It’s a perfect time to reclaim what you have given away. It’s the perfect time to look at the ecosystem of your own life and to start to make changes to reorient it in a way that helps you to embrace the centre of your nature. Are you ready to fight for YOU? Are you ready to pull your energy back home? Reclaim what has always been yours. But perhaps fighting for yourself doesn’t always look like fighting. Perhaps sometimes the most feral thing you can do is stop.
Stop explaining yourself. Stop trying to heal something that is simply asking to be left alone. Stop searching for the lesson. Stop looking for the next sign, the next portal, the next shift, the next version of yourself that you are supposed to become. Perhaps your wild self knows something that your spiritual self has forgotten. Perhaps it knows when to run and when to sleep. When to create and when to be still. When to say yes and when to bare its teeth and say absolutely not. Be wary of your spiritual path becoming just another thing to do on your “to do” list. There are times when it’s absolutely necessary to hold yourself accountable and there are times when it’s perfectly fine to dip in and out. What does your wild say?
There are relentless changes, relentless evolutions, relentless shifts in the spiritual energies and some of this is tiring but the Universe creates balance. It self organises. It self corrects. When you lean into that balance what is out of order within you begins to shift. Perhaps you don't need another breakthrough. Perhaps you need a bloody good rest. Perhaps you don't need to find out what the universe is trying to teach you. Perhaps the universe is simply reminding you that you are allowed to live here. To inhabit your body. To be messy and ordinary and joyful and tired and hungry and creative and ridiculous. To go outside without looking for a sign. To sleep without wondering what you're supposed to be manifesting while you do it.
The Full Moon in Aries doesn't need you to become a better version of yourself. It simply shines a little light on the wild thing underneath all the becoming. And perhaps that wild thing has been waiting patiently for you to come home.
Use this full moon as a permission slip to return, be feral, be wild!
Big Love
Ryan James x